i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
