Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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