I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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