whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize