I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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