I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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