if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
