i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
