we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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