K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Randomize
