The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
