the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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