i was born a porn star she said
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
