going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
