she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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