best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
