put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
