I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
