I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
