he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
