My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
