is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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