she pinky promised me she was 18
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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