"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
