sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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