There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You pole danced in your parka.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
