wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
