Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
