You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
