her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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