Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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