oh god the rape fog is back!
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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