i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
