Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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