Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
