Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
