Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
