Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
