look no pants
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
