I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
