grandma shit on top of the toilet
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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