It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize