I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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