the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize