By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
