I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize