I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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