somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
