SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
