Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
