By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
