you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
