Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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