Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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