Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
