I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
