We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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