bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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