Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
well you can't waste a boner
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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